Facinating Concept

In the reading I found the six confrontation steps to be very interesting and extremely important. I find that in the midst of conflict, it is hard to keep emotions in check and within this model, it is clear that emotions have to take a backseat. This concept is very emotionless. Saying that makes it sound bad, but there is a tendency for people to decide that they feel this way, and therefore they have to react a a way that is emotionally charged.

I have found that in my own life I would allow my feelings to dictate how I would approach conflict, especially with my then boyfriend and now husband. It was right before our wedding, and my laptop had completely died a week before my first final. I had a wedding playlist, all my notes for finals, a book I had been writing and all my final projects. We took my computer in to the Geek Squad and found out that my hard drive was completely broken. I burst into tears in the middle of Best Buy, while my fiance was trying to solve my computer problem and get all my data back. He got frustrated with me because I had reacted before thinking through the issue. We got into a tiff, and he basically told me that I needed to learn to not be reactionary but approach things logically. Now telling a woman this can really backfire for a man, but I realized that he was right. This problem with my computer created a conflict between us because I had gone directly to how I feel, not to what needed to happen in that moment. But while he approached the situation from a calm calculated problem solving standpoint, I approached it from a hugely emotional standpoint and created tension. Now, I do not believe that keeping ones emotions out of conflict to be easy, but I have found it to be do able after that day.

I am currently in another conflict where I have been severely wronged as an employee, and I have to confront the General Manager over the issue. I have two choices, I can approach with accusations or by using this model. I have to make a conscious effort when I walk through the door to leave my emotional state outside and be calm and respectful while also coming to a resolution that we both find satisfying. But we as people have to learn to not be controlled by our emotions in order to help resolve conflicts.