Depending on the conflict, I may find it easy to stop the conflict or hard. I cannot say it is the same for me every time. Conflicts where I have an emotional investment, or a situation where I was hurt, it is harder for me to take a step back. Although I have learned that it is extremely important to take a moment before embarking on a conflict. Depending on the conflict I can either walk away quickly or it may take a while.
Responding automatically is also dependent upon what caused the conflict in the first place. If the approach from the other party is accusatory, that will make me feel like I am backed into a corner, and may find it harder to respond automatically because I may have been caught off guard. If it is a conflict or issue that I am aware of, I find that I do not struggle with responding automatically because I had time to think, process and prepare for the conversation at hand. I suggest in both instances, to take a deep breath and allow yourself to calm down. Remind yourself that emotions do not control you. Tell yourself it is okay to take a few minuets. With practice, it will become easier to respond well and with class, as well as quickly.
I found myself answering this question the same way as you. I find that being able to stop a conflict really depends on the conflict whether it will be easy for me or not. I think that in all situations it is good to take a step back and really think about the conflict, but sometimes that is easier said than done. For example, how you mention emotions or being hurt, that would make it more difficult to stop a conflict, but walking away for a moment could really benefit both parties in the conflict. I think you make a lot of great points here, a lot that I think most people can relate too. Great post!
ReplyDeleteHello, Blogging Molly!
ReplyDeleteYou responded very well to this question, and I don't think I could have said it better myself. Conflicts with someone I know very well and feel close to would be much harder to stop than conflicts with a boss or acquaintance. I also agree that my response would be much more automatic if I felt like I were being accused of something. It would be difficult to react in a non-defensive way if one were being put in a situation where he/she felt as though he/she were being attacked. I also like your explanation about being previously aware of the conflict before the confrontation, and how that can help to keep one or both of the parties calm because they've had time to process the situation. I think it is helpful to take time to reflect and understand the conflict on a personal level before confronting the other party.