Forgiving is something I was raised with. I think it is key to our lives as people. When forgiveness is bestowed, its important to remember that the person who did the wrong isn't getting let off the hook, but its more a release for yourself. It allows you not to harbor anger or bitterness in your life. I am a firm believer that an unwillingness to forgive can make things worse and gives the other person more control.
Now in no way do I think it is easy. I believe it is a daily choice and not a feeling. Its rare that one feels like forgiving but it is necessary. I have had and continue to get a lesson in this. About seven years ago my parent's got involved in an investment with a good friend of the family. Long story short, they were encouraged to take money out of the equity with the promise that it would return and they would have more money. Turns out, the investment properties never existed and my parents lost a lot of money. Our good family friend took money from my family and committed fraud. This situation has literally effected everything. I had to take out student loans because my parents could not afford college at SJSU, as well as my younger sister. My wedding was not the "dream" wedding a girl hopes for, but I have to say it was pretty awesome in spite of having to cut corners. I had to make a lot of financial sacrifices because of what this man did to my family not to mention that his daughters are some of my closest friends. My parents both struggled emotionally over it, especially be the person who took the money seemed to walk away without a consequence. There is plenty more to the story, but I had to make and still make a daily choice to forgive the man that took money without a backwards look, causing my dad to work on the weekends so they wouldn't lose their house. For a while I was pretty angry and bitter because I wanted him to suffer for what he did and he wasn't, but it was robbing me of my life and my happiness. So I make the choice to forgive.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Faces on Facebook
When it comes to Facebook. I try to be very true to who I am, without crossing lines. In general, when I post status updates, I think about how I feel about what I am saying and why I want to post it. If its something that is somewhat questionable, I will not post it. Same with photos, I have a test that I put my photo posting through. It goes likes this:
Would an employer find this questionable?
Will the high school students that I mentor get the wrong impression based off the photos or their parents?
Is this something I'd want my parents and In-Laws to see?
When it comes to posting things on a friends profile, I use the same test and for the most part will send it to them in a message if it is in anyway questionable. I would like to think that when people visit my page, they actually enjoy my posts since my main goal is to make people laugh at the things I write. As well as I would want the life I have off social media to reflect what I post. I am not into having two different appearances. So if my faces aren't adding up, I would feel like a fraud because what I am communicating online does not add up to what I communicate in person. I have been in situations where I have posted something that crossed a line, as well as someone did the same to me.
I had an issue where a family member on my husband's side (whom I had never met when this started) was taking pictures of me off my Facebook and posting them on her own, and it escalated to some very rude captions posted by her on the photos she had added to her page. At first I ignored it, until it escalated and I had to ask her to stop taking photos, as well as take her comments off on the photos she had posted. While I was very gracious it turned into a huge family drama because I had suddenly stepped on her toes. I ended up blocked, and later found out she was writing mean statuses about me. Her blocking me and such worked out in my favor, because I no longer had to have my pictures taken off my page, nor deal with her at all. It taught me to screen what is being posted and to utilize privacy settings.
Would an employer find this questionable?
Will the high school students that I mentor get the wrong impression based off the photos or their parents?
Is this something I'd want my parents and In-Laws to see?
When it comes to posting things on a friends profile, I use the same test and for the most part will send it to them in a message if it is in anyway questionable. I would like to think that when people visit my page, they actually enjoy my posts since my main goal is to make people laugh at the things I write. As well as I would want the life I have off social media to reflect what I post. I am not into having two different appearances. So if my faces aren't adding up, I would feel like a fraud because what I am communicating online does not add up to what I communicate in person. I have been in situations where I have posted something that crossed a line, as well as someone did the same to me.
I had an issue where a family member on my husband's side (whom I had never met when this started) was taking pictures of me off my Facebook and posting them on her own, and it escalated to some very rude captions posted by her on the photos she had added to her page. At first I ignored it, until it escalated and I had to ask her to stop taking photos, as well as take her comments off on the photos she had posted. While I was very gracious it turned into a huge family drama because I had suddenly stepped on her toes. I ended up blocked, and later found out she was writing mean statuses about me. Her blocking me and such worked out in my favor, because I no longer had to have my pictures taken off my page, nor deal with her at all. It taught me to screen what is being posted and to utilize privacy settings.
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